sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
