just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
