are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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