I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
