sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
