the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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