all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
