He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
