the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
