why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
