you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
