Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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