i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
