susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
