I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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