I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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