Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
