this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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