haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
