i think i have herpe
just one?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
