He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
