The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
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