Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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