Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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