Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is her dick bigger than yours?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
