I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
