The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
