i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
