omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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