I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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