I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
