im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
