R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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