I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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