just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
