Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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