So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
