Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
