3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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