I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
