Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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