Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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