Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
