I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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