Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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