No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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