mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
