I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
