The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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