Its about making memories worth repressing
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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