careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
